OCD: a Living Hell of Uncertainty

Our world is full of uncertainty and all of us encounter situations that we just can not control. Uncertainty is something that we need to accept and live together with even if it is not an easy thing to do. And if you’re suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, accepting the fact that you can not control every single aspect of your life can be even more challenging.

OCD is often called the “doubting disease” and for a good reason. Why? Because people with OCD are constantly haunted by the terrible feeling of doubt and in today’s post I’ll talk about this feeling and about what happens if you’re just unable to accept uncertainty.

The seeds of doubt are extremely dangerous to those who’re suffering from OCD: one single intrusive thought could mean the beginning of a terrifying obsession that can easily turn your life into a nightmare.

How does it start?

Let’s say you’re at the tube station, waiting for the train to arrive and suddenly an intrusive thought comes to your mind:

What if I throw myself under the train?

Okay, I know this may sound absolutely crazy but most of us have similar, intrusive thoughts – but those who do not suffer from OCD will not worry about these thoughts. But if you have OCD, then it’s a completely different story. You will not be able to get over such a scary idea and you will start thinking about it more and more. Because you just want to be a hundred percent sure that the disaster that you’re so afraid of will not happen.

But how can you be absolutely certain that you will not throw yourself under the train?

Again, sounds pretty insane, does it not? You just do not want to die, so you obviously would not want to act on your intrusive thought. If you do not have OCD, you’ll probably find this convincing enough. But again, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not the most rational thing on earth so at this point, you’re likely to start a conversation with your inner voice – which is never a good idea:

So how do you know that you do not want to die? If you do not want to commit suicide, why do you keep thinking about it? There must be a reason behind all of this! What if you do not want to live anymore and you’re just not aware of your own emotions? You can never know, can you?

Then, you start seeking reassurance: Google, friends, books – whatever comes into your mind. And this is where a full blown obsession starts: your loved ones could tell you that you’re not the kind of person who’d ever do such a thing – and this may help temporarily – but you will not be able to stop: you will need to ask them at least a hundred times a day, just to be a hundred percent sure. And just in case, you may even start performing “rituals” – activities to prevent a disaster. Most probably, you know that your rituals are absolutely irrational and that your fears are nothing more than lies that your OCD is telling you, but it’s better to safe than sorry – because at the end of the day, you can never know, can you?

And this is how, slowly, you will be trapped in the labyrinth of your own mind, haunted by your own thoughts and it will be extremely difficult to find a way out.

Now, I have given a self-harm example, but OCD is an extremely creative disorder and the same thing happens when it comes to other obsessions:

– How do you know you’ve really locked the door? Let’s check once more, just in case, because you can never know, can you? What if you have not locked it and you do not even remember!

– What if you hit a pedestrian? Okay, you may not remember, but what if it happened? How can you be sure that it did not? Just drive back and look around once more. And do not forget to check the news!

– How do you know the kitchen table is clean enough? You do not want your loved ones to be sick because of dangerous bacteria! Better be safe than sorry! Clean it once more!

And it’s a never ending list. Life is full of uncertainties and the little OCD monster never sleeps: it sits on your shoulder and plants the seeds of doubt in your mind.

The way out

Watch out for “What if..” questions

A new obsession is just like a disease: the earlier you detect it, the better chances you have fighting against it. Does your inner voice ask you too many “what if..” questions? This can already be the sign of a new obsession.

If you want to think about it less, think about it more!

What? That just does not make sense.

I know it does not but it works. Trying to stop thinking about your obsessions will make you think about them even more.

Do not avoid “dangerous situations”

Avoiding driving because you’re afraid of running over a pedestrian may solve your issues on a short term, but OCD is a cruel monster: it will come up with another scary thought and you can not keep running away from your thoughts – so you can easily end up giving up way too many things in your life and at the end of the day, giving up all of the things you need and you love doing will never even help – on the contrary, it will make your OCD even worse.

Further reading that might help:

Set yourself free: how to break the vicious cycle
6 types of OCD
Pure O: Living in Endless Fear
OCD: a vicious cycle of doubt and guilt
Magical Thinking OCD
OCD: living a lie
12 things that will help you overcome OCD
Do not feed the monster: 5 things that keep your OCD alive

Your thoughts

As you know, there’s one thing that I love more than writing about my experiences: reading yours. So, please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section!

Escaping OCD: Traveling to Georgia

Running away from your daily problems and from your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is definitely not the solution but sometimes it is a fun thing to do. Especially because traveling teaches us a lot about ourselves and the world we live in.

As you may have noticed, I disappeared for a week. And the reason behind my disappearance was that my best friend and me spent a fantastic week in Georgia (no, not the US state, but the country in the Caucasus.)

So, in today’s post I’ll share with you all the things I was doing last week – together with my OCD travel tips.

The beginning of the journey

Two weeks ago I published a post about flying with OCD – and obviously, things have not changed over the last two week. Flying has always been a pretty stressful thing for me – and I am not sure if this will ever change, but thanks for God, I have learnt to keep my anxiety under control!

If you want to read more about what flying with OCD feels like, please check my post out: Flying with OCD: What does it feel like?

First Stop: Batumi

January and February are my least favorite months of the year: lack of sunshine, cold weather and the flu season. So this is one of the reasons why I always try to escape Budapest at this time of the year. I really do not want to sound like a spoiled kid and I know I totally sound like one but believe me: if you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder it can be pretty difficult for you to get through winter! Read more about this topic: Winter Blues: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and OCD

I can tell you that leaving my cloudy and windy city behind and spending 3 days in Batumi was an absolutely amazing decision. And not only because of the weather, this city has a lot more to offer: beautiful streets, friendly people and amazing food at a totally reasonable price.

Oh and amazing food, a few things that you definitely need to try if you ever visit Georgia:
Khachapuri – a traditional Georgian dish of cheese-filled bread and it is absolutely yummy!
Lobio – my personal favorite! I just love it. An amazing dish prepared of beans with coriander, walnuts and onion. It is like a dream!
Khinkali – dumplings filled with spiced meat – or mushrooms, cheese or potatoes.

And a lot lot more! This country is heaven for all food lovers ๐Ÿ™‚ And let’s not even mention Georgian wine!

And despite of my fear of jumping from high places, I could totally enjoy myself at one of the sky bars of this beautiful city. However, it was pretty depressing to see that the toilet at Sheraton’s Sky Bar had a much better view than the one I get from my window. ๐Ÿ™‚

And obviously, my friend and me spent a lot of time at the spa. Our favorite was definitely the Turkish bath (or hamam) – it just makes you feel so relaxed. This is one thing that I’d suggest to all of you to try!


Tbilisi, the capital of Georgia is one of the most interesting places that I have ever seen. It’s a place where the West and the East meet. And yeah, I am not the best person to write travel reviews because I do not like planning my trips or worrying too much about the sights to see: I just love walking around the city and exploring the streets. So that’s pretty much what we were doing.

The mountains

There’s one thing that I love more than sunshine: mountains. I was born in Budapest but I used to spend my summer holidays at my Gran’s place in the mountains of Transylvania. So for me, spending time in the mountains of Caucasus felt like being at home. And it was absolutely amazing to listen to the sounds of silence.

And we obviously did not want to miss the chance to visit one of Georgia’s most famous sights: Kazbegi. As many of you may have noticed in my previous posts, I am a christian – and visiting this beautiful, ancient church on the top of a mountain made me feel very close to God.

And last but not least: Borjomi

I’m simply addicted to mineral water. I could not imagine any trip without trying local mineral water and one of the things that Georgia is famous for is Borjomi.

Image result for borjomi water
Source: Alibaba

It is a beautiful little town with a lot of amazing spa resorts, but most importantly: it is the place where the famous mineral water comes from. And Borjomi is more than a simple bottle of water: it is pure magic, it has a very special taste and according to research it’s very good for your health.

Kรฉp elล‘nรฉzete
Our hotel in Borjomi

Mark’s OCD traveling tips

Find the right companion

It is extremely important to find the right companion for your journey. I love traveling with my best friend: obviously, we get along very well, that is why we are friends but she also understands me which is crucial. You should enjoy every minute of your holidays and you should not worry about your Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but let’s be honest: sometimes you just can not get away from it. OCD is like a monster that’s always ready to attack and having a person next to you who can actually understand your feelings and whom you can talk to helps a lot.

Go to places that you can afford

It is very difficult to enjoy your trip if you’re constantly worried about money. I am a big spender and I usually go to places that I know I can afford. I am from a country where the average wage is pretty low when you compare it to Western Europe, which means that we have to think twice before choosing the perfect holiday destination. And while Georgia is not the cheapest place that I’ve ever visited, it is completely affordable!

Do not feel guilty when OCD strikes

One of the main things about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is the feeling of guilt: and this can be especially horrible when you’re on holidays. Like…

Why am I scared of everything? Why do I have these terrible intrusive thoughts? I should be enjoying myself!

And you are right: you should be enjoying yourself but feeling guilty will definitely make your OCD even worse. Believe me, you’re not the one to blame for your thoughts. It does not mean that you should not fight your OCD, but the more the think about it, the more difficult it will get!

Be careful with alcohol and with smoking

I have been smoking for the past 8 years but I usually do not smoke when I am on holidays. Is it difficult? Yes, sometimes it is, but believe me: it is worth it. Smoking can make your anxiety much worse and so does alcohol. So try to avoid these habits as much as you can!

Do not plan everything!

Okay, I am not sure if this will work for all of you, but I would be terribly stressed if I had to plan every single day of my trip. I have never been the planner type and detailed plans will make me terribly anxious. I love going with the flow: having no plans means that you will not be anxious if you can not achieve them!

Keep calm and love Georgia โค

So what can I say? An amazing country with amazing people, culture, food and sights! Going on holidays is always amazing but Georgia took this experience to a whole new level!

Your experiences

As you know, there’s one more thing that I love more than sharing my stories: reading yours. So please feel free to share your traveling experiences in the comment section!



Coronavirus Scare and the Anxious Mind

How worried should we be about the novel Coronavirus?

This is the question that none of the articles I have read were able to answer. And I will not give an answer to this question in today’s post. The internet is a dangerous place if you’re suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety or any other mental illness.

So, I’d rather write about things that help me keep my anxiety under control. I will never forget the 2009 swine flu pandemic, even though it was eleven years ago (time flies, does it not?). The first few days of the outbreak were hell on earth for me: I spent most of my days worrying, googling and doing rituals for protecting myself from the virus. And at that time, I was not able to defeat my anxiety – the only thing that could put an end to it was actually catching the virus. Pretty ironic, is it not?

At the time of the swine flu pandemic, I was 16 years old – now I am 27. And I have changed a lot over the years: I haven’t been able to fully overcome my OCD and my GAD, but I’ve learnt how to keep them under control. – Note: I initially posted this article at the end of January and since then the situation has gotten a lot worse – which means it is now having a much higher impact on my OCD: OCD & Coronavirus: Confessions of An Anxious Mind

So, do I spend most of my days worrying about the Coronavirus? No!

Most of the articles about the Coronavirus will scare you to death and I really do not want to say that it is something that we should not care about or that it is not a dangerous thing. But let’s be honest: the mainstream media is far from being OCD friendly and I really hope that I can help some people by sharing my thoughts and experiences.

Stop Googling!

I am addicted to Google – I just love it and I could not imagine my life without it . And by “stop googling” I do not mean that you should totally stop using it, but I think using it for seeking reassurance is definitely a bad idea.


Because OCD does not like uncertainty. And because if you’re suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, it’s very likely that you’ll always think of the worst case scenario. So Google will not be able to give you the answers that you need: and even if it did, would you be satisfied with it or would you just keep googling? If you have OCD, the answer is that you’ll keep googling! And the worst thing about spending hours on the internet reading about the symptoms and dangers of a new virus is that you will find very scary things and you will not be able to decide what is true and what is not.

Of course, you should not put your head in the sand and it is very important to know what is going on in the world – but if you see that your googling is going out of control, just go out for a walk, call a friend or do something else.

The mainstream media is not OCD friendly

People with OCD tend to worry about a lot of things. Every OCD sufferer is different and some of us do not obsess over contamination and viruses but a lot of us do! Which means that we should not be told to be very careful because we are already chronic worriers.

I do not have cleaning OCD but I have always been scared of germs, bacteria and viruses. So I love washing my hands – to be honest, I do not think that it is a compulsion because I will not be anxious when I can not wash my hands.

But there are a lot of people who do not worry that much about hand washing, touching handrails or coughing on someone. And this is why I do not think that it is a bad thing that the media is full of scary headlines – but it does not necessarily mean that you should spend your days worrying about a new virus.

Try not to seek reassurance from your loved ones

Sometimes we need reassurance. But we should not overdo it.

Let’s say you ask one of your loved ones if they think this new virus was something dangerous. Now, if they tell you that it was nothing to worry about, will you feel better? Probably yes, but only for a couple of minutes/hours. Then your OCD will force you to seek reassurance again and if there’s nobody you can talk to, you will feel much more worried than before!

And then, what if someone tells you that they thought this was a terribly dangerous virus and the apocalypse was on the way? You wouldn’t like to hear this answer, would you?

Accept Uncertainty

Accepting uncertainty is a very difficult thing to do – especially if you have OCD. But we can not exercise full control over everything. Religion helped me a lot to accept uncertainty but I know that not all my readers are religious, so if you have any useful techniques that help with accepting uncertainty, please share them in the comment section! ๐Ÿ™‚

Educate yourself on OCD

OCD is a vicious cycle of doubt and guilt. It is never a good idea to start an argument with your inner OCD voice, because believe me: you will lose. The little OCD monster will always be able to come up with new “what if” questions:
“They said this new virus was not dangerous, but what if it is? And what if I already have it? Like they said in our country we did not have it, but what if they were not telling the truth? “

Want to learn more about OCD? Please check:
OCD & Coronavirus: Confessions of An Anxious Mind
6 types of OCD
What is it like to live with OCD? A day in my life.
OCD: a vicious cycle of doubt and guilt
Magical thinking OCD
OCD: Living a lie
12 things that will help you overcome OCD
Set yourself free: How to break the vicious cycle?
Demons are real: stop Negative Self Talk

Escape from the prison of your own intrusive thoughts

I do not want to be a hypocrite. Sometimes OCD takes over you. And in those moments, one thing that really helps is literary escaping your thoughts. We can not always run away from our problems but when I feel that I can not handle my own worries anymore, I will just go out for a walk, go running or meet a friend – and it always helps! ๐Ÿ™‚

Final thoughts: Be Alert

The reason why I published this article was not telling people that they should not care about the new coronavirus or that we should just ignore the news. Of course, it’s important to stay alert and to protect yourself. But I perfectly know what it is like to obsess over a new disease and I thought it’d help some of you if I shared my own experience and ideas.

And as you know, there’s one thing that I love more than writing my own stories: reading yours. So please share your thoughts in the comment section! ๐Ÿ™‚

Mark Wester

9 things you should not say to someone with OCD

It is extremely important for OCD sufferers to surround themselves with people who can support them. My loved ones have helped me a lot and without the support of my family and friends, I would have never been able to learn how to keep my OCD under control.

I’ve always been a very social person and it is not difficult for me to talk about my feelings, however, I can totally understand those who find it difficult to tell others about their OCD. A lot of people misunderstand Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and there are a lot of misconceptions about it – so people with good intentions may easily say things that do more harm than good. In today’s post, I’d like to talk about things that one should never say to someone with OCD.

1. Just stop thinking about it!

Stop thinking about it!

This is the piece of advice that people give me all the time. And I wish I could just stop having intrusive thoughts but unfortunately it is not that easy.

If people with OCD could stop their unwanted thoughts, they would do that right away, because believe me: obsessing over irrational things and wasting your time on compulsions are not fun things to do. Let’s not even mention the severe anxiety. However, the problem is that the harder you try to fight your disturbing thoughts, the more likely you will get them. I often tell people that OCD felt like as if you were in the prison of your own mind: you really want to get out and escape from your own thoughts but doing so is more difficult than most people would imagine.

Thanks for God, there’s a way out of this terrible prison of thoughts and there are a lot of useful techniques that can help you overcome Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – but telling sufferers to stop thinking about their OCD will not really help them.

2. You’re being irrational

Do not get me wrong. It will not annoy me when people tell me I was being irrational, because I know I am! People with OCD may know that their thoughts and behaviors do not make sense. Of course there are cases when you may not know that your unwanted thoughts and compulsions are far from being rational and in such cases, it can help if someone tells you that you were being irrational – but speaking from my personal experience, I can tell you that 99% of the time, I know that my obsessions are absolutely unrealistic.

For example, I used to be scared of catching HIV in the tube: I perfectly knew that it was not possible but then I just wouldn’t be able to overcome this fear or to stop my excessive hand washing. Sounds paradoxical, does it not? But that is what OCD can be like.

Want to read more about the irrational nature of OCD? Please check:
Related posts:
OCD: living a lie
Magical Thinking OCD

3. Are you sure you have OCD?

Now, telling people that they should stop worrying about their intrusive thoughts or that they were irrational may not help them, but asking them if they’re sure they have OCD can actually be very dangerous and harmful. Why?

Because Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a constant cycle of doubt and guilt. And doubt is one of the things that fuels the fire for OCD: sufferers can not stand having uncertainty in their lives. In the 19th century, OCD was known as the “doubting disease” and to be honest, this name really makes sense to me. Now, at this point, you may ask yourself why I am talking about this and what this has to do with asking people if they were sure they had OCD.

Let me give you an example (I promise you it will make sense!) Let’s say:
Harm OCD – I could write hundreds of pages about it because I’ve been living with it for a decade (is it not romantic? Wish any of my relationships lasted this long….). So it usually starts by a sudden, intrusive thought:

what if I harm someone? Like what if I just push someone off a cliff? …I mean I do not want to do it, but what if I want to? What if I just do not know that I want to do it and what if I am totally insane and why do I even have these kind of thoughts? This should mean that I am a monster. A terrible monster.

Having such thoughts is extremely distressing, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel: getting diagnosed with OCD. Learning more about OCD helped me a lot because it gave me reassurance: I am not a monster, I have OCD.
But then, what will happen if someone asks me if I was sure I had OCD?
The vicious cycle of terrible thoughts will restart!

what if I do not actually have OCD? What if my therapist is not competent enough or what if my therapist was lying? What if I am dangerous to society?

So you see, it may be an innocent question for you, but for someone with OCD, this question could mean the beginning of a new obsession.

4. You have an amazing life! You should not obsess over insignificant things.

Doubt is a terrible feeling but it is not the only one that people with OCD have to cope with. Guilt can turn your life into a nightmare too.

Telling a person with OCD that some people have it worse will do more harm than good. I can tell you this from my personal experience:

My Mum has been supporting me ever since I was OCD diagnosed. She’s helped me a lot but she is not a professional therapist and at the time of my diagnosis, she did not use to have a very extensive knowledge about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. So, she thought it would help if she told me that I was lucky, amazing, beautiful and that I should enjoy my life – because a lot of other people have it worse. Of course, at that time she did not know that telling me such things would actually make my OCD even worse: I knew that other people had it worse and it made me feel guilty. It made me think that I was not grateful enough and I felt guilty for wasting so many years of my life on my obsessions and compulsions.

And honestly, the feeling of guilt is something that I haven’t been able to fully overcome. I feel guilty for a lot of things – sometimes, even without any obvious reason. And I feel guilty for not having been able to enjoy every moment of my life.

5. You do not look like you have OCD

First of all, I gotta tell you that I am not the kind of person who gets easily offended. So, if you told me that I did not look like having OCD, I would not get upset. But everyone is different:there are a lot of people with OCD who may find this statement very offensive and at the end of the day, it IS pretty offensive. Having OCD is not something visible.
Is it a terrifying mental disorder? Yes, it is. It can make your life very difficult but most of the time, you really can not tell if a person has OCD.

6. “I am a little OCD”

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a mental illness. So you can not be a “little OCD”. You either have it or you don’t. I would not get upset if someone told me “they were a little OCD” because I do not think we can expect everyone to have an extensive knowledge about mental disorders, however, as one of the main reasons why I started this blog was raising awareness of OCD, I felt that I just had to include this one in my list.

7. “I wish I had OCD”

This is my personal favorite. You’re lucky not to have OCD. Believe me: it is not fun! One of the common misconceptions is that Obsessive Compulsive Disorder can be useful. While OCD helped me become the person who I am today and I am not ashamed of having it, I can tell you that it is far from being useful!

8. Just relax

I do think it is important to relax. OCD will usually get worse when you’re stressed. But telling someone they should relax will definitely not help them overcome their OCD. I wish relaxation could solve all the problems – but it does not.

9. Why is your room not clean?

My room is a total mess. And I have OCD. Now for many people these two things are pretty contradictory, but Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is not only about cleaning. There are a lot of other obsessions and compulsions that people with OCD can have.

Want to learn more about the different types of OCD?
Check my post about the 6 types of OCD

At the end of the day, good intention is all that matters

I believe that the world is an amazing place and people are inherently good. Most of the time, we do not say things that can hurt other people’s feelings because we actually want to hurt them, but because we do not know that others might find our statements or questions offensive. This is why good communication is extremely important and it’s crucial to raise awareness of OCD.

Your Experience

As you know, there’s one thing that I love more than sharing my ideas and experiences: reading yours. Would you like to add any other thing to the list? Do you have any interesting stories? Please feel free to share them in the comment section!

Liebster Award

I’m pretty new to blogging so it’s been amazingly encouraging for me to receive an award from my fellow blogger Kacha. I just simply adore her blog as she shares things that I can totally relate to: her journey through depression and burnout – and interesting facts about psychology & mental disorders. Reading her blog has helped me a lot – so please check it out!: https://journeythroughlife591163021.wordpress.com/

The Liebster Award is given to bloggers by other bloggers. The earliest case of the award goes as far back as 2011. โ€˜Liebsterโ€™ in German means sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, lovely, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing, and welcome. The award is a way to be discovered but also to connect and support the blogging community.

The rules of the Liebster Award are:

  1. Acknowledge the blog which nominated you.
  2. Answer the questions your nominator asked.
  3. Nominate two to six other bloggers who might appreciate the boost.
  4. Ask them several unique questions.
  5. Let them know you have nominated them.

Kacha’s questions (and my answers to them):

If you had an intro music, what song would it be? Why?

To be honest, this first question is the easiest one for me to answer. I was born in 1992, which means that I was a teenager in the late 2000’s – and I guess I have not grown up ever since. Deep inside of me, I am still an emo kid even though I do not look like one anymore. So, if I had to choose an intro music, I’d definitely go for my favorite song: Never too late from Three Days Grace.

What is popular now, but annoys you?

Now, this is a more difficult question to answer. Honestly, there are not too many things that “annoy me”. But if I really had to name one, I think it’d be Hashtag OCD. I just find it kind of annoying when people tell me they were “so OCD” (only because they like cleaning) or when they add #OCD to Instagram images that have nothing to do with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

If you opened a business, what kind of business would it be?

One thing that you should know about me is that I’m addicted to baklava – so If I could open my own business, it would definitely be a baklava shop! ๐Ÿ™‚

Not sure what baklava is? Check this Wikipedia article!

Who in your life brings you the most joy?

My family and my friends. It’d be impossible for me to pick one person in particular. ๐Ÿ™‚

Where is the most beautiful place you have been?

Oh la la, an extremely difficult question to answer! Traveling is my passion and I’ve been lucky enough to visit a lot of beautiful places. Yet, there’s one city I’ve fallen in love with: Bucharest, the capital of Romania.

My Questions

  1. What is your favorite book & why?
  2. Why did you start blogging?
  3. What one-sentence bit of advice would you give to your 13-year-old self?
  4. Who is one person that inspires you and why?
  5. Name a country you’d love to visit!

My nominees:

Rethinking Scripture
Talking OCD
Cynthia’s War Room
Beautifully Unstuck



Winter Blues: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and OCD

I can not wait for winter to end. Do not get me wrong: I love mulled wine, snow, Christmas and New Year’s Eve is always very fun, however, I’ve been suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder (or more commonly known as the “winter blues“) since my teenage years.

What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD?)

It is a form of depression that occurs at the same time each year – usually during the winter, but there’s a rare form of SAD that is known as summer depression. In my case, it usually starts in fall and gets much worse in January – yes, that’s why I have chosen this topic for today’s post! It’s the 17th of January and I feel that I can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. Okay, this sounded a little bit exaggerated and do not get me wrong: I am not fed up with my life and overall, I am pretty happy but it’s still pretty difficult for me to beat the winter blues.

And lately, I’ve been wondering about one more thing: does Seasonal Affective Disorder make my OCD worse? So, this is the question that I’ll try to answer in today’s post.

How common is Seasonal Affective Disorder?

We can say that it’s pretty common but it also depends on where you’re coming from. I’m from Budapest, Hungary – a country that’s on the same latitude as North Dakota – and in my country 1 out of 10 people suffer from the winter blues.

Why is it so common?

I do not know what winters are like in your city, but in mine, they are definitely not easy to “survive” if you’re suffering from a mental disorder. I know a lot of people love winter and most of my friends would tell me that I’m exaggerating and that winters in Budapest are not that bad – and to be honest, I do not disagree with them. I do think that January in Budapest would be very enjoyable if I did not have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. But unfortunately, living with two different anxiety disorders can make it very hard to live through winter.
Not sure what Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is? Check: Frequently Asked Questions about OCD

The most difficult thing for me is that I can barely see daylight: it’s still dark when I go to the office and it’s already dark when I leave work. I do not mind cold weather, but the lack of sunshine always makes me feel anxious and hopeless.

What are the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

So, I’ve just said that the lack of sunshine made me feel hopeless. But it’s not the only thing. The symptoms of SAD may also include:
feeling sad
losing interest in activities – for me, January is definitely the most difficult month of the year and together with that, it’s also the least productive one: I just do not feel like doing anything.
changes in your appetite and eating habits – in my case, this means a lot of chocolate
increased need for sleep – I’ve always been a night owl, but during winter, it’s even more difficult for me to wake up in the morning
having difficulty concentrating
– and in extreme cases: having thoughts of death or suicide


I’ve done a little bit of research on this (books, websites and talking to psychologists) and what I have found out was that the exact causes of seasonal affective disorder are still unclear but the most likely one is the lack of sunshine. (That’s why it’s more common in countries that are far from the equator)

Want to read more about the causes of SAD? Check this WebMD article

Is there a link between OCD and Seasonal Affective Disorder?

I’ve found a pretty interesting study on this topic. It says that half of OCD patients have seasonal mood changes – and according to the same study, 1 in 4 people (without OCD) reported to have mood swings.

Click here to see more info about this study.

Does OCD get worse in winter?

One thing that I’d like to tell you before sharing my opinion is that I am not a certified psychiatrist and I have not conducted any research on this topic. I’m just a guy who’s been suffering from OCD for a decade and who likes sharing his own experiences.

My OCD definitely gets worse in the winter. And to be honest, I do not exactly know why this happens, but I think that it’s not only because of the lack of sunshine or the cold weather. I guess it’s a question of lifestyle. As I have mentioned earlier, during the winter months, it’s much more difficult for me to wake up in the morning, so this means that I drink much more coffee than usual – and as we know, if you’re suffering form an anxiety disorder, it’s better to avoid caffeine.
You may say I’m a hypocrite: I keep telling people that it was better not to have caffeinated drinks if they’re suffering from anxiety, yet I am addicted to coffee. It’s like preaching water but drinking wine. But I think everyone has their own weaknesses and mine is coffee.

Another thing that makes my OCD worse is the feeling of hopelessness. I love the holiday season so December is one of my favorite months of the year, however, January is a completely different thing: it’s a month that I have to survive. And the feeling of hopelessness is often accompanied by the lack of motivation – they are such a beautiful couple, are they not? So as I am not motivated to do anything, I give myself more free time: more time to overthink everything, more time to worry about insignificant things and more time to act on my compulsions.

How to beat the winter blues?

Thanks for God, there’s a way out. Again, I do not want to be a hypocrite: I’m struggling with winter blues, but I’ll share with you a list of things that help me a lot:

1. Get as much light as you can
Sunshine is very important so go for a walk whenever you have a break at work/school. Today, I went for a longer walk during my lunch break and it made me feel so much better.

2. Keep yourself busy
One of the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder is the lack of motivation. However, it’s important to keep yourself busy.

3. Go out with your friends
I’ve always been a very social person and during winter I go out almost every single night. Of course, it’s not the best idea to run away from your problems and drown your sorrows in alcohol but it’s important to socialize!

4. Exercise
I know this sounds pretty clichรฉe but it is important. I’ve never liked going to the gym so I’ve found other forms of exercise that worked for me such as running or hiking.

And I enjoy going for long night walks in my city, Budapest.

Source: Szeretlek Magyarorszag

5. Travel
Traveling can be very expensive but you do not have to go to exotic places to enjoy yourself. A city break with your friends can also help you overcome your winter blues.

6. Light Therapy
I am planning to try this one because I’ve heard that it helps a lot. So I’ll share my light therapy experiences with you on my blog.
However, one thing that helps me even though it’s dangerous: tanning bed. I know a lot of people will not agree with this one. There’s no safe amount of tanning and those who use tanning beds are at high risk for developing melanoma. Furthermore, research says that tanning beds do not ease SAD symptoms. So it may be placebo but using a tanning bed will usually make me happier. I really do not want to promote indoor tanning and please do not follow my example – the reason why I have mentioned this one is because my blog is my safe place” , where I feel that I can talk openly about myself and my mental problems.

How do you cope with the winter blues?

As you know, there’s one more thing that I enjoy more than writing my stories: reading yours. So please do not hesitate to share your thoughts in the comment section! ๐Ÿ™‚

Mark Wester

Flying with OCD: What does it feel like?

Are you afraid of flying?

You are not alone: fear of flying is quite common but fortunately, there are a lot of useful techniques that could help you overcome it. But I do not think I am the best person to tell you how you can get over your fear of flying: simply because I am not afraid of flying – I am suffering from another condition called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And in today’s post, I’d like to share with you what it feels like for an OCD sufferer to take a flight. Obviously, everyone’s different and I can only talk about my personal experiences, but if you have any thoughts, feel free to share them in the comment section!

As you may have noticed, I have not published any new posts for the last few days – not because I’ve been lazy or I had writer’s block, but because I had to travel to London. I love traveling: it’s one of my biggest hobbies and sometimes I have to travel for work too, which is absolutely amazing! So over the years, I’ve got used to flying but the OCD monster never sleeps and it can definitely make your travel experience a little bit more…hm…let’s say challenging.

So what does it feel like for an OCD sufferer to take a flight?

OCD used to make my life a living hell, but thanks for God I’ve been feeling a lot better nowadays. I’m still getting intrusive thoughts and I have a couple of compulsions I haven’t been able to get rid of yet, however, I can say that I’m pretty much able to keep my OCD under control. But taking a flight can still be pretty challenging for me. Why?

The first challenge is getting up in the morning. I’ve always been a night owl, so I’d never be able to wake up without an alarm. On an average day, I do not really stress over waking up in the morning, but when you have a plane to catch, it’ll obviously be a different story. So the night before my flight, I always check if the alarm is set – and do not think I check it only once or twice! No way, I just have to check it at least 5 times – or until it feels right. And I usually set the alarm on two different phones, because at the end of the day, you can never know: what if one of your phones turns off by itself? I’d never want to take that risk. Obviously, it’s much easier if my flight is in the evening – cause then, I do not have to worry about getting up early in the morning.
Note: Repeated checking is one of the OCD symptoms. To read more about different OCD symptoms, please check my post about: 6 types of OCD

So I was able to wake up on time – with the help of a hundred alarms and a back-up phone. But this only the beginning of the journey. I do not like packing so I usually do it at the very last minute. I guess I’m one of the most disorganized people on this planet (disorganized, with OCD – how is it possible? Check my article about 5 common misconceptions about OCD) so I usually throw all my stuff in a suitcase, but I’m always worried about forgetting to pack something important. And this worry makes me pack, unpack and repack my suitcase a couple of times. Again, until it feels right. Because at the end of the day, you can never know. Did you really put that t-shirt in your luggage? And what if you forgot to pack your underwear?

And the most hilarious thing is that there are things that I’ll always forget to pack. Even after unpacking and repacking my suitcase a million times. But obviously, this has nothing to do with my OCD.

Then, we’re looking forward to the next challenge: leaving the house. You can not just easily leave the house. It doesn’t work like that. Sometimes I think I should become a risk analyst, because I can come up with an endless list of possible disasters in just a few seconds:

– what if you forgot to turn off the oven?
– what if you forgot to shut off your hair straightener?
– what if you forgot to close the windows?

The list of “what if” questions is never ending. And obviously, these intrusive thoughts will also force me to check everything. So, I check if the oven is turned off at least 5 times and the same goes for any electrical equipment.

But most importantly: the doors. One can not just leave the house without making sure that the door is locked! Now, checking if your door is locked is a completely normal thing to do, but in my case this checking can easily go out of control.

To be honest, the journey to the airport is not too interesting. I usually take a bus and I do not like touching the handrails on public transport but I would not blame this on my OCD: handrails are definitely not clean and it’s better not to touch them. Do not get me wrong! I’m not obsessively worried about getting contaminated or something, I just do not like touching them.

Budapest international Airport

Spending time at the airport can be much more challenging though.

Let’s start with the security check: what if you faint while standing in the queue? That’s not very likely but it is not impossible. And if you faint, you can even miss your flight! It would be extremely embarrassing, wouldn’t it?

Another thing that I’m afraid of is doing something crazy. Do not get me wrong! I wouldn’t want to blurt out obscenities and I would never want to harm anyone. But I am afraid of doing it. Sounds irrational? I know, at the end of the day, OCD is not the most rational disorder. Thanks for God, there’s one thing that helps me fight my intrusive thoughts: talking to people. So when I travel with friends, it’s always pretty easy for me to overcome my anxiety – traveling alone is more difficult but there’re a lot of people at the airport so you’ll always find someone to talk to.

So I managed to pass through the security check, but there comes the next danger: Duty Free. Duty Free is a dangerous place, there’re so many things to be afraid of.

Like what if I accidentally or even intentionally steal something? Of course, I would never want to steal anything from Duty Free, but how do I know that I do not want to? What if I want to do it? What if I am a kleptomaniac? You can never know, can you?

Surviving Duty Free can be very challenging – and expensive: I do not only suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder but I am also a shopaholic. But then, boarding is much easier for me. It calms me down: it’s an amazing feeling to finally get on the plane.

Killing time on a flight may often be pretty difficult. And getting bored is quite dangerous if you have OCD. If you have too much time to think about different things, you’ll easily end up overthinking your intrusive thoughts.

What if I do something crazy? What If I light a cigarette on the plane? What If I accidentally set something on fire? What if I start shouting? I mean I do not want to do any of these things, but you can never know, can you?

So the intrusive thoughts are one of the reasons why I’d never get on a plan without a book. Reading helps me get rid of the little OCD monster that sits on my shoulder and keeps whispering horrifying things into my ears.

Finally, arriving to your destination is definitely the best part. OCD can make your life difficult, but do not let it control you! Avoiding situations that you’re afraid of will not help. The world is full of wonderful places and you shouldn’t let OCD rob you of all the amazing experiences.

As you know, there’s one more thing that I love more than sharing my stories: reading yours! Please share your OCD travel stories in the comment section!

Mark Wester

Can OCD be beneficial?: How OCD frightened me into learning 7 foreign languages

Can Obsessive Compulsive Disorder be beneficial?

Okay, I know this is a pretty surprising question. How could a mental illness be beneficial and how could it have any positive side effects? But a lot of people have asked me this question so in today’s post I’ll try to give an answer to it by sharing one of my personal stories.

OCD frightened me into learning languages

You may ask yourself: did this guy go totally crazy? Did he run out of ideas to write about? Learning languages has nothing to do with OCD. But let me tell you my story and I promise you it will make sense.

My parents are from Romania but I was born in Budapest, the capital of Hungary. So I can say that I come from a pretty multicultural background and speaking other languages has always been an important part of my life. But it turned into an obsession during my mid-teens. And by obsession, I do not mean that I was addicted to studying languages or that I was actually enjoying it. Not at all. It was something much darker: full blown OCD.

Ever since my high school days, I’ve had severe financial anxiety: I’ve always been afraid of not finding a job or not having enough money to live on. And in my city, it’s much easier to find a job and to earn a decent amount of money if you speak foreign languages. So as a result of these two factors, a surprising thing was born: obsessive compulsive studying.

It all started by the usual intrusive thoughts:
what if I will not be able to find a job?
what if I will never have money?
what if I will end up on the street?

And I guess most OCD sufferers have already experience the vicious cycle:
The intrusive thoughts that will turn into terrifying anxiety. An anxiety that will soon start ruining your life so you just have to do something to get rid of it: and that is how compulsions start.
(Read more: Set yourself free: How to break the vicious cycle?)

So I arrived to the conclusion that speaking a lot of languages would save me from a horrible financial disaster so I decided to register on a couple of language learning websites and I spent a lot of money on language books. Studying languages is a very fun thing to do but as I have mentioned earlier, I did not do it because I was enjoying it! I spent most of my days reading course books and chatting with foreigners on the internet because it would give me a temporary relief from anxiety. And I’d have never skipped one single day: it would give me an anxiety attack if I could not spend at least a few hours a day on improving my language skills.

A gift from OCD

I can say that my efforts paid off: ever since I graduated from high school it’s been relatively easy for me to find jobs. But has this solved my anxiety issues? Of course not! My language learning obsession is over but we all know how creative the little OCD monster is: it’s always able to come up with something new. And I wouldn’t like to bombard you with stories about my other obsessions (but if you’re interested, you can check them on my blog feed: https://over-coming-ocd.com/blog-feed/)

Answering the question: Can OCD be beneficial?

There are OCD sufferers who are obsessed with cleaning: so obviously their homes will always be very neat. Others are obsessed with symmetry, so they might be able to design extremely beautiful things. And OCD forced me to learn foreign languages. So it does have positive side effects.

But is OCD beneficial?

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is one of the most terrifying mental illnesses in the world and I would never call it beneficial. And I do not say this because I am a negative person. I always try to look on the bright side of things and I am proud of having OCD: it’s a part of me and it helped me a lot to become the person who I am today. But the benefits are dwarfed by other things OCD sufferers have to live with: intrusive thoughts, obsessions, compulsions, anxiety – and a lot more.

Your story

As you know there’s one thing that I enjoy more than sharing my stories: reading yours. So please do not hesitate to share your OCD experiences in the comment section!

Mark Wester

Demons are real: Stop Negative Self Talk!

Do demons actually exist?

Yes, they do. The world is full of demons and they do not always look like the evil mythical creatures you see in Hollywood movies. Real demons are much scarier, because you can not just run away from them: they’re living in the darkest underworld of your own mind. In today’s post, I’ll write about the different faces of my personal demons: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

If you’re suffering from OCD, GAD or Panic Disorder, it’s very likely that you have already met your demon: a cruel monster who has millions of faces and who whispers terrifying things into your ears. And this demon has a much less dramatic name: Negative Self Talk.

It’s a perfectly natural and healthy thing to have an inner dialogue with yourself: and let’s be honest, self talk can not always be positive.

But if your inner voice is often (or always) negative, it will make your life a living hell. I’ve been suffering from OCD for a long time and one of the biggest challenges that I always face is fighting my negative inner voice.

What do you see when you’re in the dark and the demons come?

4 faces of our Personal Demons

Your inner demon has four different faces. Or maybe even more? Please do not hesitate to share your thoughts in the comment section! ๐Ÿ™‚

The Critic

One of the faces of your inner demon is the critic – and this monster loves telling you things like:
– you are a loser!
– you’re not good enough for your partner!
– and you’re worth nothing!

I guess the majority of people have similar thoughts from time to time, but if you’re suffering from nay kind of anxiety disorder, it’s much more likely that your negative self talk will get out of control. I’ve been single for a very long time and one of the reasons why I’ve not been able to find the love of my life is definitely “the critic”: how can you even go on a date if your inner demon keeps telling you that you’re nothing more than a loser and that nobody would ever fall in love with you?

While having an inner critic in your head will not give you OCD – as OCD is likely to be caused by a combination of different things (check this post for more details: https://over-coming-ocd.com/2019/12/23/why-do-i-have-ocd-causes-and-risks/) – but it will definitely worsen your anxiety and your symptoms.

How to fight the critic?
I will be honest with you: winning the war against the critic is not an easy thing to do. And it definitely takes a lot of time. One of my biggest mistakes of my OCD journey was that I used to believe I could cure my OCD overnight. Fighting your demons can take a long time, but believe me: it’s worth it!

I think the first step is to learn how to recognize the critic (I’ve already given a few examples above) and then, you can fight this demon by replacing your negative thoughts by positive ones. One of the things that actually works for me is asking the “so what?“question. So if the critic tells me that I’m a loser, I’ll just ask myself: So what? So what If I am a loser? I can be a happy loser, can I not?
And also, when I was a kid I used to think I was a prince, have these thoughts turned me into a prince? Unfortunately an answer is no. So if my critic tells me I’m a loser, It will not mean that I am one!

The “Anxious” demon

The Critic is an evil and cruel monster: it wants you to feel that you’re worth nothing. Now, the anxious demon is a little bit different from that: it’s not necessarily evil, it’s just annoying and it can turn your life into a living hell by asking you things like:
– what if I get a heart attack?
– what if I accidentally harm someone?
– what if I can never sleep again?
– what if people notice that I have a panic attack? They’ll think I’m totally crazy!

The anxious demon does not want to hurt your feelings. It just can not stop worrying over any single event in your life. This demon is as dangerous as the critic, and in my case, this is the one that is the most difficult to fight. For me, it’s always been easier to tell myself that I’m not a loser than convincing myself that the disaster I’m so scared of will not happen!

What can you do to get rid of the “anxious” demon?
I think the first step is learning how to make a difference between your rational and irrational thoughts. If you have way too many “what if” questions that’s very likely that your fears are not the most rational ones.
Another thing that worked for me is trying to agree with my thoughts: okay, I know it sounds pretty crazy but believe me, your anxious demon will always be able to come up with a new “what if” question and it’ll be a never ending story.

Want to read more about my fights with the Anxious Demon? Check:
In the prison of your own mind: Responsibility OCD
Set yourself free: How to break the vicious cycle?
OCD: Living a lie

The Victim

I’m giving up! I can’t take this anymore! I’ll never be able to overcome my fears and I’ll never be able to change my life for the better. The Critic has already told me that I am worth nothing and I think it was right.

Sounds familiar? Guess many of us have similar thoughts, the problem is when these kind of thoughts take over your life.

I used to think I wasn’t strong enough to overcome my OCD but learning more about the behavior of the Victim demon helped me a lot.

What helped me:
Everyone’s different. Some people feel much better after reading inspirational quotes, others will find it helpful to think about all the amazing things they have achieved in their life. As for me, what truly helped me was being angry at my “victim” demon: so it tells me I’ll never get better, let me show this monster that I will!

The Perfectionist

I have to admit that I’ve always been a perfectionist. And this is one of the reasons why it’s been pretty challenging for me to recognize the little perfectionist demon that sits on my shoulder.

The critic wants to hurt your feelings and it wants you to believe that you’re pathetic. But then, apparently your perfectionist inner voice does not want to be mean to you. It just wants to remind you that you and your life must be a hundred percent perfect. You should do whatever it takes to look like a cover girl, you should be the most professional person on the planet and obviously you should achieve all of this on your own.

Being perfectionist is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can definitely make your anxiety worse. I’m sure you have already heard this a few times but: nobody is perfect and we should accept ourselves the way we are!

I do not want to lie to you: I have not been able to get rid of my “perfectionist demon” but one thing that helps me a lot is telling myself that there are a lot of people who love me: even though, I’m far from being perfect! ๐Ÿ™‚

Fight your demons!

Negative Self Talk is a pretty complex topic and you can find a huge numbers of amazing articles about it on the internet – I’ll soon publish a post with the list of articles I’ve found particularly useful.
So even though, I haven’t been able to include every single piece of information about negative inner voice, I really hope this post will help some of you ๐Ÿ™‚

And as you know there’s one thing that I love more than sharing my stories: reading yours. So please, share your story in the comment section!


In the prison of your own mind: Responsibility OCD

Have you ever been afraid of accidentally putting someone in danger?

Well, worrying about others is absolutely normal. But people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder take these worries to a new level.

Lately, I’ve been spending some time on Reddit and reading other people’s stories about “Responsibility OCD” reminded me to an obsession that used to give me a lot of sleepless nights. This is what I’ll write about in today’s post. And why do I think that having OCD is like being in the prison of your own mind? Read my story, and you’ll understand!

OCD, the bottle of champagne and Reese’s

The obsession that I’m going to talk about started on a beautiful Friday night. I’ve always been a very social and out-going person, so my Friday nights are usually about going out with friends and having a couple of drinks. So on the night when my obsession started, my friends and me went to my city’s “party district” – it’s a place full of so-called “ruin bars” (bars that are built in the ruins of abandoned buildings in the old Jewish Quarter). We wanted to make sure that we’d have enough drinks so we decided to buy a huge bottle of champagne at a supermarket and we were drinking it while walking to our final destination.

A ruin bar in Budapest.
Source: http://www.magyarnemzet.hu

Now, buying a bottle of champagne is not something unusual – but getting that particular bottle of champagne was a decision that I’d regret for a long long time.

The first mistake we did made was overestimating the distance between the supermarket and the bar where we were going to.
Unfortunately, we had not had enough time to finish off a whole bottle of champagne and as it was very cold outside we really did not want to stand at the corner and drink. So we decided to leave our half full bottle of champagne on a bench. Here, I’d like to ask everyone not to judge me for doing that: the nightlife in my city often gets very crazy which means that there’s always someone who’ll want to finish off a bottle of drink they find on a random bench. So at the end of the day, we just wanted to be nice.

But things do not always work out the way you thought they would. Especially if you have OCD. The beginning of the night was pretty nice: chatting, drinking and having fun – exactly what you’d want your Friday night to look like. However, OCD is a kind of monster that one can never escape from.

I normally imagine my OCD as a kind of ugly monster who whispers irrational things (intrusive thoughts) into my ears and that’s exactly what that terrible beast did on that night. It wanted to remind me of the bottle of champagne we’d left on the bench.

Wait a sec….what does it have to do with OCD? At the first glance, nothing at all: but believe me, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is very creative and it’s capable of creating new, shocking obsessions out of insignificant things. And I ate Reese’s (love them) right before drinking from that bottle of champagne.

Okay, Mark went nuts. At this point, I guess many of my readers are like: now, what is this weirdo guy talking about?
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder….a bottle of champagne left on a bench and Reese’s?

But let me tell you what my inner OCD voice was telling me: so you ate Reese’s – which are full of peanut butter – and then, you were drinking from that bottle of champagne and finally you decided to leave it on a bench so that someone would take it and finish it off.

But what if the person who finds it is allergic to peanuts?

What if that poor person is allergic to peanuts?

And you will be the one to blame for that! If someone dies, that will be your fault! Totally your fault!

So what do you think I did? Obviously, I ran out of the bar to check if the bottle of champagne was still on the bench. And of course it was not. Are you kidding? Friday night in the party district? Guess it disappeared a few seconds after we left.

And the disappearance of this bottle of champagne meant the start of a new obsession.
Someone having an anaphylactic shock because of me was not the only thing I was afraid of, but my OCD came up with an endless list of disturbing possibilities:

Let’s say, the person who finds it is not allergic to peanuts. (I checked a few statistics to see how many people have peanut allergy and I tried to convince myself that it’s extremely unlikely that the person who picked up our drink was suffering from peanut allergy)

But another what if question soon appeared:

What if someone put laxatives into the bottle? (You know, there’s always that person who thinks such things are funny.) And then, the person who took the bottle of champagne could be allergic to laxatives! Or both to laxatives and to peanuts!

Or even worse: what if someone put poison into it? It’s EXTREMELY unlikely but it can happen, can it not? And if it happens, I will not only be responsible for someone’s death but I will be in a big trouble.

A storm of “what if” questions, doubt, guilt, fear of uncertainty.

By the end of the night, I checked all allergy statistics available on the internet, all Budapest news and I guess my friends would have preferred running away from me because I’d ask them at least 10 times an hour what they thought about this whole situation: you know, the typical reassurance seeking – guess most of OCD sufferers are way too familiar with it.

And this obsession went on for a couple of weeks. Feeling of guilt, constant doubt, thousands of Google searches and hundreds of phone calls with friends.

How did this obsession go away?

It appeared suddenly, out of nowhere. And it took time to get rid of it, but it got gradually better and better.
One thing that particularly helped me was understanding the way OCD works. Something that I just call the “OCD cycle”.
Check out this article to learn more about it: https://over-coming-ocd.com/2019/12/27/ocd-how-to-break-the-vicious-cycle/

What did I learn from this obsession?

  1. You may not be able to stop having intrusive thoughts but the harder you fight against having them, the more likely they come back.
  2. OCD has a lot of different faces and compulsions are not always easy to recognize.
  3. Try not to rely on others: it’s very tempting to seek reassurance from your loved ones but it’s something that you can not do 24/7. It’s very difficult to stop doing it but if you get used to it, it’ll be even more difficult for you to cope with your anxiety when they’re not around.
  4. Never ever leave a bottle of champagne on a bench: okay, avoiding certain situations will not help your OCD, but at the end of the day, leaving a half full bottle of alcoholic drink on a bench is not an okay thing to do.

Share your story!

As you know, there’s one thing that I enjoy more than writing my stories: reading yours! ๐Ÿ™‚

Please share your OCD stories in the comment section!


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